I stumbled upon this list and had to re-post. It made me laugh out loud several times and made me nod my head and say "That is the TRUTH!" I love the way he writes - offensive bad language and all :)
Original Post Can be found
here ---> WELL worth your time to read
Here are some of my comments to his list:
1. This is so very true. It does get easier, but it's definitely something parents think about ALL the time. With Hadleigh being my first, I thought about it more and woke up a lot to check on her. After a while of her sleeping through the night, breathing, and waking up in the morning you find it a little easier to sleep. Even with Hayden I still check to make sure she is breathing. It's just one of those freaky things that you worry about.
2. Those books are scary as shit. I remember getting one when I first found out I was pregnant with Hadleigh. I read through it one day and it scared the crap outta me. I'm glad I got scared early on and got rid of the book. I cannot imagine having the book on hand when she actually got here. Anytime I see the book on friends registries I get the chills. And even though I know this, I still google everything possible when it comes to my kids. Cause that's not just as scary right?!
3. I didn't really find the doctors appointments to be a big deal. I loved them cause you get to see how much they've grown and get to know their percentiles. I never worried about them being in an enclosed area with other sick kids, but then again my doctors office had a sick side and a well side. The only thing that sucks are the shots - you will cry with them, but it's necessary in my book.
4. The poop thing was not something that was weird or gross to me. You will never be so excited that your baby has pooped and you'll make a HUGE deal about it. It's a natural thing and if anyone doesn't think they'll have to deal with this...well they shouldn't be having kids :)
5. We (Daniel and I) have no experience with natural childbirth. Well except for some unsuccessful pushing, in which case I pee'd and Daniel yelled "oh my god!" :) So I can't really speak to that, but I can with the C-Sections. Daniel never looked over the sheet except for when he might of caught a glimpse walking over to our girls on the other side of the room once they were born. Me on the other hand, would have loved to of looked over the sheet. Call me crazy, but it would have been interesting. Unfortunately, due to this thing called "shock" they don't let you. boo.
6. Before I had kids I always said, "I hope my kids are cute". And my kids are SUPER CUTE, model material. (duh). But every parent should think that. And even if your kid isn't deemed "beautiful" by someone, it doesn't matter. It's your child and regardless, you'll think they are.
7. This is hard. Friends and family members will buy books and not even think about someone having to read them over and over. And you will find yourself bribing your kids to read something other than the book they picked sometimes, just cause you are so over it. If your kids are anything like mine, they're stubborn, and most of the time the said bribery doesn't work.
8. You're sleep deprived, but you get used to it and learn to function. Caffeine is your friend. You don't get much sleep when you're pregnant either, so it's not too different.
9. This.is.so.true. You will also start making a mental list of all the things you do to whip out in one of these arguments. It's like a mini-competition to get out of doing something, when if you just did it, it would have been done so much quicker if you didn't argue. I hat this and have to work constantly on trying not to do this!
10. See 9. I love the misery loves company line [ ahem, Daniel ;)]
11. I remember before Hadleigh was born, Daniel was very sensitive to throw up, poop, boogers...etc. Anytime my nephew spit something up he would turn his head. But when it's your own child it's different. Daniel picks the girls boogers, cleans poopy diapers, has been pooped on, and thrown up on and he handles it like a champ.
12. I have a freezer full of milk cause I'm so freaked that when Hayden starts drinking 8 ounces at a time, I won't be able to keep up. Everyone can tell you not to stress, but you'll still worry even a little bit.
13. My girls haven't had hand, foot, and mouth [knock on wood]
14. Even if you have babysitters and family that can stay home with the kids when they're sick...you as a parent will still want to stay home with them yourself. Family comes first and anyone that complains about you missing ANYTHING...can kiss your ass.
15. Agree. Babies cry...and a lot have acid reflux that makes them fussy. Hold them and rock them cause you will for sure miss it.
16. & 17. Hold them but to a certain extent. It's hard to find the perfect medium - you want to hold and cuddle but you also want to be able to set them down sometimes and them not whine. You're at the mercy of their moods really. Good luck!
18. We didn't even really consider this. Both of us work, so it would have been even more to ask of whoever the caregiver is. Maybe my opinion would have been different if I was staying home or if we were super strapped for cash.
19. This hits me more than any other on the list. I struggle with mommy guilt
every day. I'm working all day, so I'm not spending that time with them. I come home and cook dinner instead of 100% putting my attention to the girls. I sit down for a few and look at my e-mail or watch TV to get some sanity instead of giving them attention. Then it flips - If I were at home, feeling guilty for not working to get more $$ for them to do and have the things they want. Getting together with friends instead of hanging with them on the weekends....I could go ON and ON. I'm still waiting for it to get better - does it?!
20. I know I can do the best parenting possible and things could still go wrong, just got to have faith that your kids will choose the right path. Just think...those crackheads were once cute little newborns and kids. Scary, I know.
21. Hopefully the nice tendencies out way the "asshole" ones ;)
22. We are happy with the daycare we put Hadleigh in 3 days a week. She's starting to enjoy it herself, so it makes things a lot easier.
23. HA! Tell my OCD husband this (
please)
24. Again,
please tell Daniel this! k? thanks!
25. The TV - another mommy guilt topic. Sometimes to keep sanity, you need that TV. I tell myself, it's OK. Plus shows have gotten a lot better for kids where some are educational. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
"
However, “Calliou” is Satan reincarnated as a whiny, bald Canadian brat. Avoid this show with your life." <--- Hilarious. My child LOVES him and we have to watch him daily. Be jealous.
26. They repeat everything. EVERYTHING.
27. I'm too scared to take Hadleigh or Hayden on a plane...maybe one day!
28. Daniel and I were just talking about when we can take Hadleigh to a movie. She is for sure too young right now - maybe in a year.
29. This would be difficult for me, cause I look at every activity and think "Hadleigh will enjoy this". And if she enjoys it, it's worth it, and we do it. done.
30. These are all my experiences and opinions off of his experiences and opinion. Right, wrong, or indifferent. Have kids and you will have your own take ;) 
