Original Post over on Wifessionals.
If you would have asked
me before if I practiced attachment parenting, I probably would have laughed or
just not known what the heck you were asking me about. My experience has been less research- based
and really just the way we parent. It
kind of just happened. If you Google on the subject, a list of about 7 or 8 activities pretty much defines
what researchers call attachment parenting.
Ultimately, it comes down to being there for your baby’s every want and
need while making them feel safe and secure.
Birth Bonding –
The hospital we delivered at makes sure this happens. They are huge on the skin-to-skin and “magic
hour”. The staff wants to make sure the
parents get that initial bonding time with their new baby. Although I think the bonding goes a lot
further than the first hour, it was amazing to have them on board with the
idea. The birth was still crazy and I
didn't end up having the full hour of just quiet bonding time, but don’t worry –
there is plenty of time to bond with
your baby!
Breastfeeding –
Research says parents should be there for the baby’s wants and needs. I believe this can be done breastfeeding or
formula feeding. I formula fed my first
while I’m still breastfeeding my second, 11 months in. I think they focus on breastfeeding because
it is quicker to give the baby the need. I feel bonded by both of my girls, but the nursing bond is 100% true. Maybe not in the beginning, but you will get there, I promise.
Nurturing touch –
This goes back to the safe and secure aspect.
And the fact that you are “attached” to your child will form the
greatest bond and relationship. I do
practice baby-wearing, but only on occasion, and it was more when the girls
were younger. They are both active, so I
don’t “wear” them very much. Although, I
do feel like I hold them A LOT ;) For
me, cuddling and loving on them is just as effective.
Bedding – Co-Sleeping
or bed-sharing. We bed-share, something I didn't think I would be doing, but here
I am! With our first, we would bring her in bed with us if she woke up in the
early morning hours. She would go to
sleep in her crib and now her bed, so it hasn't been an issue. With our youngest, it was a convenience to
have her in the bed with us since I was breastfeeding. She still nurses once on most nights. I love her in bed with us and I know she
feels very secure, but I’m questioning when you stop. I’ve tried moving her to the crib (without
letting her cry it out) and I haven’t been successful. I know at some point she needs to learn to be
independent and fall asleep in her own room.
Constant Loving
Care – For us, it hasn't been an option for me to stay home. Thankfully we have my husband’s mother watch
the girls while we both work. We choose
to put our oldest in day care part-time.
Wherever the girls are, they are receiving loving care. I would love more than anything to be able to
stay home with them and have constant care with one of us. As parents, we have to make the best
decisions.
Positive
Discipline – Children learn by example.
Even if testing boundaries, remaining calm and positive will go so much
further in teaching. I’m conscious to
try not to be too negative around them.
I don’t want them growing up being pessimistic, negative, or not
confident. I do think the way you go
about talking to them, especially disciplining them, can effect that.
Balance – This
is so.so.so. hard. I’ve been a mother
for almost 3 years now, and I still struggle with this. You shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to get
away with some friends, get away with
your husband, or even get away alone. It’s
healthy. You can’t be the best mother
you can be if you are angry, worn out, and stressed all of the time.
I am by no means an expert and I truly find my style a
little bit of “my own”, although I do identify a lot with the attachment
parenting. If anyone has any questions
(or advice) at all, please do not hesitate to e-mail me!
